11/28/07

It's Not Possible To Want Something Else

In this here-now....there is completeness, wholeness, a vibrating delight. THIS wants nothing. THIS cannot want. THIS is all there is and is complete satisfaction.

There is no possibility of wanting something to be other than what is. See that this is true. The sense of dissatisfaction is an illusion, a dream, ghost-like and fragile. Do you see that there is no way that THIS (YOU, God, The Oneness, Beingness) can be other than the way it is, here and now?

Look deeply. If there is any sense that what is happening needs to be different, where is that coming from? Could it be a vibration of beingness, like a thought, for example? A simple appearance in the wholeness, like a blade of grass or a leaf on a tree? Can you see that there is no possibility of something other than THIS? No possibility of something better?
We don't want anything....it's not possible. There is only THIS and it is of a beauty and perfection beyond description. Wholeness is, and you are That.

Go beyond these words, into them, through them, what is here, always? There will be no answer to that question. At the most, an "I don't know." And That, is It. That is exactly what "we" thought we were looking for, what the "mind" cannot grasp.

There never was a search, there never was a reason to. Some appearances happened that looked like it, that's all. Nothing serious, nothing that could affect the Reality. It was all a simple misunderstanding.

And even the misunderstanding is pure Love.


2 comments:

Ron Marson said...

For me, reality is THAT which does not change, does not move. When I'm staring at Reality, it's not possible to want anything else. Anything else, everything else, if it changes and moves, is an appearance, a manifestation, a dream, generated by Reality for Reality's own unknowable purpose.

Here is my story (somewhat lengthy), of how I came to this understanding. About 7 years ago I went to a week-long Sufi workshop and began to experience a vast intelligent energy pouring into everything, sustaining everything. I saw that everything was super intelligent, and I was IT. This vision stayed with me for days. At times, so much energy poured into my body, I thought I would explode. I suddenly understood. Creation was singing a song of praise and adoration to The Creator, and I understood the music. I was singing the song. I was the song. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. Now I know. This was my experience that ebbed and flowed throughout the workshop, on the long drive back home (even the road signs spoke with hidden meaning), and in the weeks and months that followed. My life has never felt the same.

Seven years later, I sit here and type about this stupendous experience. It arose, stayed around for quite a while and slowly dissipated. Similar, milder experiences have come and gone. For a long time I went searching for these peak experiences like a child wanting more candy. I was happy when they came. Unhappy when they didn't come. I realized later that I could just as well be running after food or sex or money or power or fame, and it was no different than running after spiritual experience or any other appearance. Experiences that were good, ho-hum, or bad were equally empty. I got tired of chasing them and gave up the search (somewhat). Ecstasy or gloomy doom, it's all the same to me now (somewhat).

This is when Reality (THAT which doesn't change), began to "stick around." When I stopped chasing experiences, feelings, explanations (I haven't really let go of explanations all that much), vocation, security, desire.... When I stopped searching, my mind slowed down somewhat, and Unmoving Reality, THAT which does not change came into view. Reality became an underlying constant, perfectly obvious, like the hum of my computer that comes and goes in awareness as I type. Only it's not a sound. It's a visual constant, like seeing things in 4-dimensions, where the 4th dimension has extra depth and clarity, where all things are vivified, held, bound by an all-pervasive, intelligent, almost-visible glue. This is exactly what I recognized 7 years earlier among the Sufis, along with waves of energy. And this is what I see now looking around the room. My experiences change. This never changes. So I hesitate to call it an experience. I don't know what to call it. A non-experience? I can't imagine it ever disappearing. It feel eternal like the Sun.

I used to be in love with feeling good (and still am, somewhat). Now I am more in love with the Source of both feeling good and feeling bad. I feel that I understand what Job meant when he said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Though I have not faced the trials that Job faced, I feel I know exactly where he is coming from. Cattle or no cattle, boils or baby skin, what Love wants, I want, just as It is.

Several weeks back the two big maples outside my window had lots of colorful leaves. Now they are both bare. In appearance they look different. In Reality they are still being held by the same Intelligence that holds my own changing body in a gathered form. I see this Sameness anytime my mind is quiet enough to see What Is. THIS is what I love more than any dream appearance. This timeless No Thing that never changes. It's not possible to want something else.

Mary said...

Dear Ron,
Thank you for sharing your story, I found it touching. How beautifully This moves! So many ways to be That..

Love,
Mary