What's Happened Since....

Well, in reality, nothing, because there is no time. But there seems to be an evolution, in the story, doesn't there? Here, there is a feeling of relief. The relief of not having to be someone, to be special...I can relax now. No more striving to be better, more. It doesn't mean this seeming person "Mary" won't change, evolve, do all kinds of things. Life continues to appear, nothing changes there. The only difference is that it is known that the character is not doing anything. No credit, no blame. You could say that the character is being "done." Moved, used in service to the One...to Life. With this comes a relaxation, life seems to flow effortlessly....and problems and pain and love and miracles still happen...and life is. It's really as simple as that. This not-knowing is so beautiful, strange and exciting.

October 6, 2006

Ecstasy is no past and no future.

July 16, 2006

A deep joy is present when there is no story of “me.” As I wake up from a night of dreaming, before the story starts, the “I,” there is a peace and innocent, wondrous joy present…a leap into the moment, into a new day! As soon as the identity of a person comes to the forefront, the joy seems to recede, in favor of thoughts, patterns, feelings that float in (notably a feeling of separation)….I’ve noticed that even if the “story” is completely normal and not at all “negative,” there is still a kind of heaviness, very subtle, but there nonetheless, that seems to appear, like putting on a coat that doesn’t quite fit. Uncomfortable. Then, in an instant, all is light and peace again. It is seen that “I” do not exist - what joy and comfort that brings!!!

June 4, 2006

Now I understand the “fear of intimacy.” True love/intimacy is the death of the individual, the “I,” the ego, the person! The definitive disappearance of the so-called “me“ and “you.” That is why people can seemingly be afraid of love, as crazy as that sounds….because somehow they know that if they “surrender” to it, they will die…. the individual self, that is. They know that true love is all encompassing, universal, and not reserved for an “object” or one special person. This can be frightening to a separate individual. It means that everyone is included! And what does that mean for the “people” involved in a love affair, for example? Ironically, on the level of form, I suspect that nothing much changes after this realization. There will still be conditioning and preferences (seemingly) for the individuals involved….but the knowingness has none.

Only a separate person can be afraid of love!

Therefore, it’s not possible, and we ARE love, and can never be separated from it. It is what we seek, always and in all ways….and yet, we know that if we “find,” it will mean our death as an individual, swallowed up in the sea of love, of consciousness, of oneness….so the seeming person keeps “not finding,” resisting, fighting it, and the game of searching goes on….

And then Truth is seen…..Love is…..and the search ends.

Only a separate person can search!

When the individual disappears, what was always there, is seen, and the search is over. Such sweetness, either way!

May 25, 2006

What I want is what is happening now. Liking it or not has nothing to do with it. What is, is what is, and I don’t need to know the reason why it is appearing in front of me. I know it’s what is meant to be, because it is right there, being what is! What freedom comes with that understanding.

Things don’t go the way I want them to - great! Something better is supposed to happen. I may not understand it, may not think it’s better, but it will be. Because it IS. Whatever IS, is perfect. There in only a problem in what seems to be, not what really is.

The bottom line is that all of THIS is that oneness, beingness, presence-awareness, and there only seems to be “other, separate” things, but there aren’t.

Life is. How beautiful is that? What else could one possibly want?

May 21, 2006

Things happen. The mind, or thought, slaps a label on it. Interprets what happens, maybe even gives it meaning. A story may start, the stringing together of several thoughts, until a whirlwind of “reality” is “created.” People say we create our reality with thought, but I would say that reality is…..and then thought attempts to translate, explain, own, or label what is.

All that time we thought that we were in charge, that we were “creating” our circumstances. But it was just what was happening! Then, looking at it through our particular lens of conditioning, habits, and patterns, stories were created to define, or explain what was happening. But none of it was true. What happens is just what happens. And our “story” of it makes it feel good or bad, right or wrong for the “me” that we think we are.

What if the thoughts that come up about life, happenings, people, etc,. were just allowed to pass through, without holding on, resisting, or rejecting? What if “what is” in the moment was just registered….allowed to be? What if we did not believe the thoughts that try to translate what is happening right now? What would happen to reality, to “us?” Would the whole shebang just dissolve into nothingness?

Now I understand why B.K. says that “reality is always kinder than our thoughts about it.” Without an investment in the “translation,” what is, is simply experienced, registered, so to speak. It’s the story about it that causes problems….or not….but I see that what thought has labeled as meaning this or that is completely wrong! It’s just a label, it has no reality whatsoever. It is not what is happening, it’s a definition of what is happening, based on what is known from the past, from what was learned, heard, memorized, etc….a dead image of no substance at all! Reality IS kinder than our labels, and I don’t know how I know that.