~*~*~*~*~*~*~*I AM indestructible peace.
Sometimes we don't want a beautiful dream to end....some tears might be shed, sadness. The not wanting the dream to end is also part of the dream..
Floating....
It is often talked about that sometimes there seems to be an "in and out" quality to this "awakening," where there is clarity, awareness and "no one" followed by a sort of relapse into the separate person, with its tell-tale "unconsciousness" and identification. Some call it "me-ing" and "be-ing." In the story it seems that for a short or long while it can happen like that...
I dreamt the other night that the sky began to break apart into little pieces....small squares began to fall, and as I looked up I saw that behind the little pieces was what appeared to be another sky....bluer and brighter and clearer..
It takes no effort to be what you are. It is what is, right now, and always. Being, Oneness, Isness, Awareness - call it what you will. There is nothing but That, and it's a verb.
You are Everything
Last night I was out with a friend. We had a fantastic dinner and a long, long conversation. At one point, we were talking about a personal situation (of "mine") and she was telling me that she felt sad for me, because she felt that I needed to change this certain situation. All I could say was that I saw no problem, even though intellectually, of course I could see her point. In fact, just months ago, I had "felt" from time to time exactly as she did now.
There is nothing happening
There are no special people who get "This," while you don't. There are no enlightened people. No one knows any more than you do. There is no one who embodies this Realization better than you do, or has something that you don't.
Is there anything, anything at all....right here, now....which can be pointed to with finger or imagination....that is not YOU?
Anything?
Shhhhhh.....the secret is not that we can manifest whatever we want, it's that we are everything we want...
Notice right now the completeness of This...how still, peaceful and yet vibratingly alive It is. This Beingness is the indescribable presence which hosts everything seen and unseen....welcomes all, resists nothing. What could possibly disturb? What could possibly be believed here?
Aliveness without borders, without any definition whatsoever. It cannot be known, and no one cares that it's not known. There is no fight here, even a "no!" is a resounding YES in disguise, for no reason....just This....an embrace which excludes nothing, which is not personal or special at all.
In fact....
Who would want it to be?
Grace is here, now. Grace is here for you. It IS you. Always present. No need to look for it. Everything you could possibly want is here, now.
Let it sink in.....This is It....all that you have searched for...all you've ever needed or wanted. The search is over, forever. Isn't it wonderful? Sure, problems will likely come,(who knows?) challenges, too, but YOU won't mind....Some say that God or Oneness (or whatever name you like) doesn't care, but This is not some cold indifference. God or Oneness (YOU!) just doesn't see anything wrong.
All the while "you" thought that "you" were suffering, there was only This, here. There was never anything but Grace. There never was a "you" to suffer, so what happened? Isn't it just a memory now? And what is that? Isn't that just an energetic movement in ..... YOU?
Where is the Enlightenment, the Liberation, the Shining Awareness that everyone is talking about? It's here, now. It's all YOU. So close that it's impossible to see. You can only BE it. You've always been it.
There is no separate "you" to do anything about any of this....nowhere to turn, where YOU are not...complete, peaceful joy, wanting nothing, delighting in everything....this is the Full Stop. This is Grace. Always here.
We often look to the mind to gauge whether we "get" this or not. If there is understanding or clarity, then we decide that we are "there". But often times this "mind" tells us that we don't get it, that we are not quite there, or confused, etc.
But what authority does this so-called mind have anyway? Isn't it just a seeming mass of thoughts and concepts just like every other appearance in the Beingness? Why would we look there for confirmation of anything?
The "mind" is not able to tell you what you are. It may seem like it tries...( so sweet, always trying to help us out, explain things, give us a clue..... ;-) )
But what you are is beyond the mind, beyond thoughts, beyond concepts - ALL concepts. Even the concept "mind." Even the concept "words" "thought" "inquiry" "beyond" "emptiness" "bliss".....What is before all, all, ALL that can be known, spoken, seen or conceived??? What is That? Does the mind have anything to say about it? Or does it get suddenly quiet in the head space?
Nothing can touch YOU.
There is no I. Or I am. There is only this vibration, this gentle buzzing.....so sweet. Feels like a soft joy, love, like gratitude and a smile.
This is what is before the "I AM." No word can describe it. It is This, here....it is everything which is really nothing...
There is only This: complete, whole, beyond all mental concepts. All springs out of it, all falls back into it, swirling, dancing...
What This is cannot be spoken, explained, understood. We cannot know what we are, we can only know that we are....and even that is unnecessary. Nothing is necessary, ever.
Some ask, "Do you exist?" My answer is that I don't know. What/who is the question referring to? What does it mean to exist?
There is only This. "Vibrating Beingness" is a close as I can get in words. If that is existing, then here I AM. ;-)
No goal.... no plan, ambition, or life purpose. Just This. All dreams have been washed away in this Presence, in what I am. No need for them now. What dream could possibly be better than this breath, here, now? And it's all done for me, through me, without me.
I'm not necessary at all. Even in love, it's Love that moves, lives, loves through this "me".....I don't even know how to love. How could I, when I AM Love?
I have no idea what will happen to this character, to this life. I have no wants, no needs, no idea of how this story should continue... there is only living, breathing, all wonder of appearances, and unknowing peace.
All success, all happiness, all love can be summed up simply in this next breath....that's all that's required, and not even that.
How effortless, natural and amazing it is....to simply be what I am.
Enlightenment is a loss. The loss of the belief in a separate person.
There is no gain. Just the recognition of what cannot be lost.
Simple as that.
Once I was talking to a well known Advaita "expresser," describing how I was shocked when it seemed that the separate person "came back." The reason for thinking that the "me" was somehow in the picture again was that there was an experiencing of intense emotions and a story started up about "me" and "others" and "my life," etc....
He pointed out that just because all this stuff arose, it didn't mean that there was any separate person at all....why would it? It was just emotion, thought, images, etc. arising - where was this seeming person?
Oh. Uh, yeah. Of course! What the ???!!! was I thinking?
Well, "I" wasn't thinking at all. Thinking happens. It attempts to label, to explain what is happening. That's it. NO PERSON IS DOING IT. Feeling happens. Belief happens. NO ONE IS DOING IT.
No separate person is believing anything. Ever. No separate person is thinking, deciding, choosing. There is no one who can believe, decide or choose.
There may arise a belief that "you" don't get This. That the person is still here. That the Grand Realization hasn't fully happened yet. That some "have" It fully and some don't. That you are "almost there." That there is just an "intellectual understanding."
Sorry, but that is just hogwash. You have got it, my friend. You have more than got it - YOU ARE IT. No matter what arises, there is no possibility that Realization is not. It is. Always. That means even when a belief in a separate person happens......so what? Isn't that just a thought like the millions of other thoughts that arise and fall in WHAT YOU ARE? What you are is not fooled by thought, even when another thought comes in to say that you believe that thought!! Can you see that it is impossible for YOU to believe a thought? It has never happened. Belief has happened, thought has happened, but YOU always know what YOU are.
See that now. Only now. Don't go to the past, it doesn't exist. Right now, can a thought ever be the truth of what you are? Is there any way that YOU could be separate from YOU ever? Ever?
I don't care what is happening: emptiness, unconditional love, seeming separation, anger, peace, boredom or deep sleep. This IS. And YOU are THIS.
Full stop. Period. Over and out. End of story.
Any question or doubt that comes up about this is simply YOU expressing your Infinite Self. No way around it. No matter what arises, you will always, always end up with YOU. Notice how everything appears and dissolves in YOU.
It's done. And it never began.
Searched. Found nothing, lost everything. Peace.
What's yours?
All is well....nothing to do, nothing to be....nothing to become. What you are right now is perfection....where you are is perfect, too. There is no becoming. There is only This, now, being what is....
No need to struggle, to understand, to attain or give up.....just being what you are, now, is enough. More than enough...
You are being breathed, lived....you are Life itself. Nothing belongs to you, you are everything and there isn't anything, and that is what you are as well. All labels and definitions are not true....the truest truth is unspeakable, and you are That.
Resting and moving, knowing and not-knowing, you are beyond all dualities, even beyond your capacity to know, to see, to be. What is beyond everything known and unknown? You are That.
And it's so mind-blowingly simple....always, always, always here...This....YOU....all endeavor, all effort, all need, all want - where are they now?
In reality there is only the source, dark in itself, making everything shine. Unperceived, it causes perception. Unfelt, it causes feeling. Unthinkable, it causes thought. Non-being, it gives birth to being. It is the immovable background of motion. Once you are there, you are at home everywhere. - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
the great Nothingness,
the host of all creation,
untouched, loving all.
When there seems to be a someone - it's okay
When there is pain, suffering - it's okay
When there is wholeness, then it seems to disappear - it's okay
When there is emptiness, hopelessness - it's okay
When "you" come back, after you thought you were gone - it's okay!
These are waves moving in Love....dream-like pictures and vibrations of beingness. It's all so deeply okay. There is nothing to be done about what is. There is only This, This which is the Supreme Okayness, the One, the deepest longing of your heart.
There is no failure, there is no attainment. There is only This. More than okay.
No, this is not an invitation to hell ;-) It's an invitation to YOU.
Are you hoping to become enlightened? Are you wishing for good health, prosperity, love and happiness in the new year? Are you hoping to get that new job, that new lover, that new look/car/house? Are you looking forward, with apprehension, because you're not sure how to make it happen, to a new and better life ("your" life!) in 2008? If so, I ask you:
Why?
What will these things give you? A "you" that doesn't even exist!?
Happiness and love cannot change anything about you. YOU are already happiness, love, prosperity, peace. YOU are already new in every moment, and yet unchangeable. YOU are the Ultimate, the Everything, the All. Whatever you could possibly hope for is what you are.
Hoping implies wanting something to be different, often in a projected non-existent future. Having things "go your way" is irrelevant to WHAT YOU ARE. What you are is exactly THIS - going "your" way or not - have you noticed? Hope appears in what is, like a raindrop or leaf or dust mote. Hope is only relevant to a seeming separate person. Once that person is seen to be an appearance too, hope has no real power anymore. It is seen that hoping is unnecessary.
Does it mean that wonderful things and good times won't happen? Not at all. Things will change, or they won't, will "work out smoothly" or not. But hope has nothing to do with it. The IS has no reason to hope - total union, completeness, love and nothingness have no need for hope!
And yet, hope happens. No problem! It just doesn't mean what we think it does. WE are perfect, as what Is, Now. There is nothing that can be added, nothing that can make THIS better.
There is a quote I like, I can't remember from whom, so I'm paraphrasing:
"When all hope is gone, what's left is Love."
Yes. And when all hope is gone, what's left is YOU.
Where you are right now is where you are meant to be. Whatever is happening is perfect, here, now. This is It.
Remember that the person cannot get rid of him/herself. There is no one to disappear into the Oneness. There is no merging, person into Being. There is only Being, only This.
It may look like you, the separate individual, is doing something, with spectacular (or not) results! The disappearance of the character, oneness, liberation. But no one did anything. How can the illusion, the dream character end itself? It has no control, no volition. It can't do anything, never could, never has. It's a wonderful dream of Isness - isn't it beautiful and incomprehensible?
If you find yourself investigating, looking, being drawn to read words and expressions on this subject....then that is what is happening. "You" have nothing to do with it. It's just what is happening. If you are not investigating, looking, being drawn to words and expressions on this subject - no problem....it's what is happening. None of it makes any difference to what you are.
The actor on the movie screen, what he/she does or doesn't do makes no difference to you the spectator, does it? You know that you will leave the theater and go home eventually. During the movie you may even get caught up in it, just a little, all the while knowing that it is make-believe, knowing that the person on the screen is not really hurt or crazy or sad or happy. There is no one there, physically on the screen, and you know that. There are just some images, seemingly moving.
The only (seeming) impediment to experiencing what you truly are is this belief in a fictional character called "you" who is searching for a different experience than This, right here. And this belief in a separate you is not controlled by "you!" "You" are not believing it, the idea of separation is simply what is happening......until it's not. And if the belief is no longer here, now, it's not "you" who got rid of it! ;-) So there is no need to struggle with the seeing of This. It always IS, here, now....no matter if "you" appear or not.
One could say that the Isness is "doing" it all, and "you" are part of the play. Whether you seem to be diligently efforting to make yourself "disappear" or "dissolve" or whether you seem to have given up all hope and are just sitting like a bump on a log, the Oneness is still ALL. And you are still always THAT.
As a person or as no one. It's all still Being.
In this here-now....there is completeness, wholeness, a vibrating delight. THIS wants nothing. THIS cannot want. THIS is all there is and is complete satisfaction.
There is no possibility of wanting something to be other than what is. See that this is true. The sense of dissatisfaction is an illusion, a dream, ghost-like and fragile. Do you see that there is no way that THIS (YOU, God, The Oneness, Beingness) can be other than the way it is, here and now?
Look deeply. If there is any sense that what is happening needs to be different, where is that coming from? Could it be a vibration of beingness, like a thought, for example? A simple appearance in the wholeness, like a blade of grass or a leaf on a tree? Can you see that there is no possibility of something other than THIS? No possibility of something better? We don't want anything....it's not possible. There is only THIS and it is of a beauty and perfection beyond description. Wholeness is, and you are That.
Go beyond these words, into them, through them, what is here, always? There will be no answer to that question. At the most, an "I don't know." And That, is It. That is exactly what "we" thought we were looking for, what the "mind" cannot grasp.
There never was a search, there never was a reason to. Some appearances happened that looked like it, that's all. Nothing serious, nothing that could affect the Reality. It was all a simple misunderstanding.
And even the misunderstanding is pure Love.
You might as well just STOP now.
Give it up, there is nowhere to go. You're surrounded, with no possible escape.
Wave the white flag - you're done, you're finished, damned if you do, damned if you don't. No more seeking necessary, no more understanding, no "getting" it.
This is It. Exhale and relax.
A thought arises: You are THAT
A hunger pang: You are THAT
The phone rings: You are THAT
Stress and worry: You are THAT
The plant in the corner: You are THAT
The lady down the hall: You are THAT
You cannot get away from YOU, you cannot find YOU. YOU are the getting away and the finding. YOU are everywhere you turn. YOU are everything - seeing feeling thinking being
You can stop now. You can rest. There is nothing to do. You don't even have to "be." Even that is done for you.
I've told you to stop, but you can't. There is nothing you can do to stop or not. And yet, this is the message, here, now. Let it go. It's okay to collapse in frustration. That is also YOU!
And when it is seen that there is nowhere and nothing that is not This....
there will be no words
In the meantime (of no time): hands up! you've been caught, seen, captured by your own sweet Self. Don't fight it, "you" are no match for YOU!
I was once told by Jean-Pierre Gomez to go ahead and let it rain. I was very upset at the time about a relationship situation and felt so contracted, confused and a bit lost in all that was happening, coinciding with this seeming "realization." He basically said that emotions are energy-in-motion, and like rainstorms, they seem to temporarily block the sun, or, in other words, our true nature.
Well, it was pretty rainy here today, and I'm not talking about the local weather!
And interestingly, it seemed that a familiar "mind-energy" tried (in vain) to explain what was happening by following some old tracks of thinking.....thoughts that had long been seen as false but hey, have you noticed that sometimes they show up again?? Maybe it's sheer convenience!
And yet.....and yet.....very clearly this is just a story - here - what has just been written. What was felt here could be described as sadness, tenderness, gratitude and love all wrapped up in one. As amazing and ordinary as any other happening in the Oneness. And even what is called resistance made a brief appearance...and that is welcome, too. It's all Good, it's all God, it's all One....Being. Why attempt to fight what you ARE? Not possible.
Then a thought came up that said that "I" let it have its way with me....surrendered, let go into the feelings.... but that is just not true.
IT had its way, as IT always has, always does.....with or without thoughts that say "I'm crying and I'm not sure why," or "This must be about x, y, or z," or "I'm a person who is sad about something."
No. Those thoughts are just like the drops of water on these cheeks. They say nothing about what I am, what is happening. There simply is no need for a story at all, to be what I AM. And since the appearance is ever-changing, thoughts disappear again..... and all that is left are tears, warmth in the chest, various sensations...in short, ALIVENESS - simply That.
Crying happens like rain happens, and it is beautiful.
And wet ;-)
The answer is yes.
Well, it would be closer to say that you are enlightenment itself. There is only Enlightenment, and you are THAT.
Too bad that the word enlightenment is so loaded. Yes, it's just a concept....we know that words do not correctly describe This. But that word could just as well be used to point to the truth, if it weren't for the negative (or too positive??) connotations that have been added to the concept.
The point is that enlightenment is This, here. It's your runny nose, the tick of the clock, the amazing orgasm and the standing in line, tired and hungry. There is only This....and it's nothing special at all. YOU are nothing special at all, because there is only YOU and nothing to compare YOU with!
That's why liberation, enlightenment, awakening, etc. are so ordinary - it's all just little 'ole YOU, being what you are. Never mind that it's also been described as peace, love, unconditional acceptance....hey, stuff happens!
The thing is, you're everything. Even concepts and labels are what YOU are....and that can include "enlightenment," why not? The reason we get so bent out of shape about this word is because we think it means something. It doesn't.
There is no separate person to put any meaning whatsoever to these words. And yet, meanings, beliefs, etc., seem to appear - that's YOU, too!
If the idea of a separate person is YOU....and the idea of a separate man/woman person is YOU....and the idea of a separate man/woman searching person is YOU....then even the idea of a separate man/woman enlightened/unenlightened person is YOU.
They are all appearances.... concepts, ideas.....vibrations of Beingness.
No big deal, right?
